Do you find it odd that people can go through very similar experiences but have very different outcomes? Even something like a new opportunity, some people may always find opportunities exciting and motivating. Other people may find a new opportunity stressful. Why can some see the silver lining in most situations, but others find more negative than find the positive? And how do you change your perspective?

The lens through which we view life is the most significant determinant of our lives. All of us will encounter difficulties and obstacles; our attitude to these problems affects our quality of life. The fact that some people may have the same problem as you but can manage the issue in contrasting ways shows that our perspective is one of the principal components to success in life.

Brian Tracy tells a silly little story that is very helpful. A man is down on his luck. He is about to lose his business, and his wife has just announced she is leaving him. One late afternoon, after drinking heavily, he decides it is all too much and wants to end his life.

He starts walking down to the river to jump off the bridge. Just before he gets to the bridge, a very well-dressed man stops him & asks if he has a light for his pipe. As they chat, the stranger asks why he is looking so glum. The man tells the story about his business and marriage and how things look insurmountable. The stranger then introduces himself as the one & only Mr. John Rockefeller, the wealthiest man in the world.

Mr. Rockefeller says he feels great pity for this man and whips out his chequebook & writes a cheque for $200,000 made out to this man. Mr. Rockefeller hands the cheque over, and they agree that in 5 years, at the same time, they can meet on the same spot & this man can pay back the money to Mr. Rockefeller interest-free.

As the man walks home after this extraordinary experience, he decides he won’t spend a dime of this money until he has to. The next day, he comes up with all sorts of ways to save his business: close some branches, retrench staff, sell his expensive car & house, start & a new advertising campaign with the money saved, start researching new product developments, etc.

The man feels emboldened & energized by the fact he has a massive pot of cash from Mr. Rockefeller. This incredible encounter has been like changing the window through which he views life. He feels he must take calculated risks and push himself and those around him. One of the best ways to repay the higher power looking out for him is to use this chance meeting as a springboard for great success. He decides to dip into these funds only as a last resort if needed.

As the years pass, the business keeps going from strength to strength; the man manages to turn things around without using any of Mr. Rockefeller’s money. The man becomes so excited to meet with Mr. Rockefeller and is bursting to tell him he didn’t need one cent of his money & that he has grown the business many times over since their last conclave.

Eventually, five years later, the day arrives. The man takes the unused original cheque out of his safe. He puts it safely into his top pocket and excitedly makes his way down to the bridge to meet at that same significant spot. As he nears the place where he almost ended his life only five years ago, a disheveled Mr. Rockefeller jumps out from behind the bushes lining the road.

Amazingly, it looks like Mr. Rockefeller is wearing the same, but now dirty and torn clothes the man remembers him wearing at their last meeting five years ago.

As Mr. Rockefeller approaches the man, a nurse jumps out from behind the same bushes. She starts running towards the men, screaming for Mr. Rockefeller to stop. She catches up with Mr. Rockefeller and gently grabs him by the arm just before Mr. Rockefeller can shake the man’s hand.

The nurse looks at the man & says, “Sorry, Mr. Davenport is constantly escaping and pretending to be none other than the famous & wealthy Mr. Rockefeller. He even forged Mr. Rockefeller’s chequebook once. Can you believe that? He is pretty harmless. I hope he didn’t startle you.”

She then leads him back to the building behind the bushes. The man looks up at the entrance to the building that reads: ‘State Asylum for The Mentally Unwell.’

This simple story illustrates how negativity can literally kill you, and a positive outlook can free you. The window through which you view life is the challenge. James Clear gives an interesting exercise. Get some paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left-hand side, write down the last five years of your life from the most pessimistic point of view. Every mistake you can remember, things you should have done better, focus on the negative.

On the right-hand side of the page, write down the last five years of your life from the best possible recollection. Things you knocked out of the park, skills you learned, and view things from the best possible viewpoint.

Now, both the left and right sides of the page are accurate. There are no lies on either side of the page. What possible benefit is there to remembering your last five years from the negative left-hand side of the page? As in the story above, the man was about to take his life. He got information that wasn’t even true that turned his life around. Avoid making the mistake of dwelling in a pool of negativity.

It is, unfortunately, easier to focus on the negative. We need to put the work into finding ways to see the best version of ourselves and what a bright future holds for you.

Science tells us that the way we view the world changes the very cells in our bodies. If you want to change the way you feel, you need to develop a technique to use a positive thought to counteract one negative thought. Pay attention to your mental inputs, analyze how you see the world, and decide you will shift your perspective. Cellular biology tells us the more positive we think, the more positive we will become.

“The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole.” – Oscar Wilde

Just like that notepad exercise above, it doesn’t serve you to allow your mind to dwell on the negative. I heard a lady explain perspective along these lines: Say you must mow your lawn on a Saturday morning after a very tough week at work. You can start changing your perspective instead of concentrating on your tiredness and how this chore affects your weekend.

Tell yourself that you are grateful you live in a house with a garden where you and your kids can enjoy time together. You are so happy to be able to make this garden look pretty for you and your family to enjoy. You do this with every task or exercise you find difficult. Try to put why you are grateful behind each task.

She said that instead of saying things like “I have to go to work,” start paying attention to your words and thoughts.

Replace “have” with “get”.

Emphasise: I get to go to work, I get to clean my car, I get to go for a walk.

“I have to go to work.” vs.  “I get to go to work.” The former implies drudgery; the latter has endless possibilities. Slight nuances in vocabulary – however minor – are simple ways to change your perspective.

This subtle but significant shift is one of the powerful tools to get our minds thinking grateful and helpful thoughts. If you want a change in your life, you want to grow or develop, use these simple techniques to start feeling more positive and excited for the future.

The habitual practice of these small and straightforward techniques will change your life for the better.

Combine these simple steps to change your perspective with a prayer of gratitude each morning. Even if you don’t feel you are in that place, list everything you are grateful for. Start each day this way; your life could look very different in a few months.

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